I recently hosted a summit with panel experts that talked about Self-worth, sexual health, menopause, divorce, careers, and money. Many women shared their struggles with having those hard conversations with their partners. Here are a few tips and ideas to help you take that first step to opening up the lines of communication.
You Are Worth It
Conversation Starters:
“What is one area where you feel really confident right now?”
“How can I better support you in your personal goals?”
“What do you feel proud of in the way you’ve handled challenges recently?”
“What do you think defines success for us as a couple?”
Ask Yourself:
How do I currently define my self-worth?
What external validation do I seek, and how might I cultivate internal validation?
“What is one belief about myself I want to change?”
“What brings me the most joy and fulfillment?”
Suggested Resources:
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
(let me know if you want the guide I've created to go along with this book)
Insight Timer (meditations on self-worth)
The Enneagram personality assessment The framework to build awareness, and acceptance of how amazing you truly are.
Show Me The Money
Conversation Starters:
“What are your biggest financial goals for the next 5 to 10 years?”
“What does financial security mean to you?”
“How do you feel about our spending and saving habits?”
“If we could make one change to improve our finances, what would that be?”
Ask Yourself:
How did my upbringing shape my beliefs about money?
What stories do I tell myself about my financial worth or security?
Suggested Resources:
How to Get Rich-Ramit Sethi on Netflix
(This is a great place to start getting the two of you talking.)
YNAB (You Need a Budget) App for collaborative budgeting or NeoBudget (what my hubby and I have been using for over 20 years)
Let's Talk About You and Me
Conversation Starters:
“What does intimacy mean to you, and how has that evolved over the years?”
“Are there ways we could connect more physically or emotionally that you’d enjoy?”
“What’s one thing I do that makes you feel close to me?”
“How do you feel about our current level of physical intimacy? What would you like to explore?”
Ask Yourself:
How have my own desires and needs around intimacy changed over time?
What fears or assumptions might be holding me back from discussing this topic openly?
Suggested Resources:
Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski (focuses on understanding female sexuality)
The Gottman Institute (resources on communication and intimacy)
Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin? Podcast
Practical Tips for Having Courageous Conversations
Choose the Right Setting: Select a relaxed environment free of distractions. A walk or quiet coffee date can create a safe space for meaningful dialogue. Utilize a car ride by turning the music down and being quiet.
Use “I” Statements: Frame your thoughts with “I feel” or “I’ve been thinking” to avoid blame.
Be Curious and Listen: Approach conversations with curiosity rather than judgment. Practice active listening without interrupting. Get comfortable with the quiet.
Normalize Regular Check-Ins: Make these conversations a natural part of your relationship, rather than rare, high-stakes events.
Acknowledge Progress: Celebrate any step forward, no matter how small.
Creating Ongoing Support
Join a Community: Connect with other women in the Midlife Nest for ongoing discussions.
Attend Workshops: Participate in follow-up events to deepen your understanding and communication skills. Don't miss an email with all the details.
One-on-One Coaching: Consider personalized coaching sessions to explore these topics further. Schedule a FREE trial session.
By approaching these conversations thoughtfully and courageously, you can strengthen your relationship and foster greater connection, understanding, and growth.
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